Is that Darth Vader?

'Tis not the leader of the evil empire.
"Tis rather a very happy ten year old,
wearing the full catcher's gear
he received for Christmas...
and playing his beloved trombone.

I've been wavering between impressions
of darkness and light this past month.
Sometimes I can't see the difference
between disaster and opportunity.
My perception flickers back and forth,
as do my emotional reactions.

My church abandoned plans to build,
and instead bought a historic downtown sanctuary.
Since our move a little over a year ago,
we've had more than 100 visitors.
We've had growth in membership.
Giving is up...and if all other things were equal,
we'd be well in the financial black.

But....
we're still paying two morgages.
The land we bought for building has not sold.
We're out of building funds,
and suddenly our budget contains
these two mortgages,
and we're short $100,000
in underwriting 2007's budget.

Yipes.
I lose sleep, I hyperventilate,
I calm down.

If we cut the budget by $100,000,
we cut all our giving to the larger community and world,
we cut all our program monies,
we cut staff.
We cut almost everything
except the power bill and the preacher.

It is an uncomfortable time,
not knowing how much the congregation can rise
to the occasion financially...
not knowing what will happen if we can't sell the land soon...
not knowing what to do to make the situation better.

I also wonder
if every growing congregation
doesn't need an experience like this...
to keep them humble,
to increase their generosity,
to bring them together in a common cause,
to teach them compassion for churches and individuals
who likewise stare into the abyss,
only without the backing of a movable asset
or a sense that this crisis is only temporary.

Was it only last January that
I was resolving to spend less than I made
and trying to figure out how to make that possible?

A lot of positive things can happen in a year.

Especially when there is a community facing
their problems together.